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THE FLYING STAG PLAYS 

For The Little Theatre 



No. 7 



BLIND 



COPYRIGHT, 1918, BY 

EGMONT ARENS 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 



The professional and amateur stage rights on 
this play are strictly reserved by the author. Ap- 
plications for permission to produce the play 
should be made to Egmont Arens, 17 West 8th 
Street, New York. 

While it is hoped that the publication of the 
plays in this series will encourage their produc- 
tion in all parts of the country, it is held that the 
interests of the New Theater movement can best 
be served by vigorous protection of the play- 
wrights, without whom the movement cannot go 
forward. 

Therefore, any infringements of the author's 
rights will be punished by the penalties imposed 
under the United States Revised Statutes, Title 
60, Chapter 3. 

The Publisher. 



OCT 17 19/8 



BLIND V V ^ Comedy 
in One Act by Seumas 
O'Brien v v as played by 
Whitford Kane's Irish Players 



Published by EGMONT ARENS at the 

Washington Square Bookshop V New York 

1918 



BLIND ^ ^^S"^ 

Produced for the first time, April' 20th, 1918, 
at the Neighborhood Playhouse, New York, by 
Whitford Kane, and his company of Irish Players, 
with the following cast : 

The Blind Man - - - Whitford Kane 
The Policeman - Joseph K. Whitmore 

The Stranger . _ _ _ Fred Pelly 

The Play is dedicated to W. D. Hepenstall 
By the Same Author : 

"The Whale and The Grasshopper" 
"Duty and Other Irish Comedies" 



CID 50581 



BLIND 



The scene is a street in Ballybrogan, a country 
town in Ireland. Blindnian with dog, sitting on a 
keg near the corner of a public-house. He is shab- 
bily dressed, carries an umbrella, has a patch over 
one eye and is reading from a Bible with his 
fingers. There is a proclamation posted on a wall 
over his head. 

BLIND MAN 

[Reading.] 
"He increaseth the nations and destroyeth them; 
He enlargeth the nations and straiteneth them 
again." 

[Hears footsteps.] 
Pity the bHnd. Pity the blind. Pity a poor old 
blind man. 

POLICEMAN 
[Enters from the left. Reading proclama- 
tion.] 
Fifty pounds reward for the capture or informa- 
tion leading to the arrest of the man who broke 
into the Town Hall on the night of June 5th. 

BLIND MAN 
[Recognising voice.] 
Is it yourself is reading the notice? Patseen 
Corey, disturbing me and I in the twelfth chapter 
of the book of Job. 

POLICEMAN 
'Tis no one but myself then, Johnny Burts. Fifty 
pounds is a tidy bit of money these times. 

BLIND MAN 
It is so ; a tidy lump to have in one's fist alto- 
gether. 



6 BLIND 

POLICEMAN 

A hundred pounds is still more, and that's what 
I'll be having soon. 

BLIND MAN 
Wisha, wisha, where would the likes of a country- 
peeler get a hundred pounds, Patseen Corey? 

POLICEMAN 
I'll tell you, Johnny Burts, I have the fifty that 
was left me as a legacy by my Aunt Bridget now 
in my pocket, and that I'm going to take to the 
bank today when I'm off duty, and there's the fifty 
more that I'll be getting when the rapscallion 
who broke into the Town Hall will be caught. 

BLIND MAN 
Ah! I don't believe you have fifty shillings to 
your name. 

POLICEMAN 
[Pulling notes from his inside pocket.] 
See here, then, if you don't — feel these; there's 
four ten and two fives for you. What does that 
make? And there's the fifty that will be put 
with them when the malefactor who's at large 
will be brought to justice. 

BLIND MAN 
'Twill take a smarter man than Patseen Corey 
to catch him, I'm thinking. 

POLICEMAN 
Will it, indeed? He's not goin' to escape me, 
Johnny Burts. Wasn't it myself that caught the 
desparado who stole the ould Queen of Eng- 
land's pet snuff-box when she was on a visit to 
Ireland? And didn't the King himself write and 
congratulate me? 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 7 

BLIND MAN 
Oh! Listen to that for a concoction now. What 
signifies the loss of a snuff-box to one who does 
be sitting on a throne of gold with a glittering 
diadem on her head listening to words of praise 
and receiving presents from the grey of dawn till 
the fall of night. I don't believe he ever wrote 
to you at all, Patseen Corey. 

POLICEMAN 
If you doubt what I say, go down to my parlor 
and see the King's own caligraphery and signature 
in a twelve by fourteen frame of solid oak, hang- 
ing between the full-length pictures of St. Patrick 
and the Head Constable himself. 'Tis a gift I 
have for catching breakers of the law, Johnny 
Burts. 

BLIND MAN 
'Tis a genius you have entirely for bragging and 
boasting, Patseen Corey. 

POLICEMAN 
The man who broke into the safe in the Town 
Hall has no more chance of escaping me than a rat 
that would be between the teeth of a terrier dog. 

BLIND MAN 
The great Napoleon Bonaparte himself was out- 
witted once, Patseen Corey, and by a man not as 
smart as himself either. Sure, my nephew Shawn, 
up in Dublin, says the deed must have been done 
by a stranger, and 'tis more than likely he's on the 
high seas by this time. 

POLICEMAN 

What does a caubogue like your nephew know 
about anything? 



8 BLIND 

BLIND MAN 
He's a travelled man, Patseen Corey. Hasn't he 
been to New York and back? 

POLICEMAN 

Oh, hold your tongue! I'm thinking. 

BLIND MAN 
All right. Think away, then. "He taketh away 
the heart of the chief of the people of the earth 
and causeth them to wander in the wilderness, 
where there is no way." 

POLICEMAN 
Stop that noise. 

BLIND MAN 
Noise, is it? 

POLICEMAN 
What else would I call it? 'Tis only at a wake 
the likes of that should be heard. 

BLIND MAN 
Maybe 'tis at your own wake I'll be keening it, 
then, and before long, too, please God. 

POLICEMAN 
At my wake, is it, Johnny Burts? Do you know 
who you are talking to? 

BLIND MAN 
Only too well I know, you that have been the 
torment of my life for this last ten years, shift- 
ing me from pub to pub with no more mercy for 
me than if I was a porter barrel with hoops on it. 

POLICEMAN 
Is it abuse I'm getting for my kindness and I 
letting you be an eye-sore to the people of Bally- 
brogan, disgracing and disfiguring the corner of 
the road here with your ungracious presence. You 
dirty, idle varmint ! 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 9 

BLIND MAN 
Idle, is it? The Lord forgive you this blessed 
day, Patseen Corey, and you that never stretched 
a muscle to pick up an honest shilling. 

POLICEMAN 
There's a way to speak to a gentleman who has 
been on his feet since daybreak. If you utter 
another word of reproach or disparagement I'll 
have you clapped in jail for using foul, offensive 
and obscene language to an officer of the law. 

BLIND MAN 
If you don't want to earn your own living, Patseen 
Corey, be off with yourself and let me earn mine 
"They grope in the dark without light and He 
maketh them to stagger like a drunken man," 
[Policeman walks to end of stage and a 

stranger comes out of the Public 

House.] 
Pity the blind. Pity the blind. Pity a poor old 
blind man ! 

STRANGER 
Is it yourself is blind, my poor man? 

BLIND MAN 
It is, stranger. It is so. 

STRANGER 
It must be a terrible thing to be deprived of 
one's sight. 

BLIND MAN 
Welcome be the will of God. If we have middling 
health itself and enough to keep body and soul 
together we ought to be thankful these days of 
stress and strife. 



10 BLIND 

STRANGER 
That's true. 

[Taking a coin from his pocket.] 
Well, here's a trifle to help you on the road. 

[Puts coin in ponny and goes off.] 

BLIND MAN 
[When he hears the rattle of the money.] 
Thank you kindly, stranger. May you be long 
spared out of Heaven, and may you never know 
the loss of your limbs and your eyesight. May 
health, wealth and prosperity ever be yours and 
may the blessing of God be with you until you 
are called to your reward in the fullness of time. 
Eternal rest to the suffering souls in Purgatory 
and peace and good will among men upon earth 1 
And may you never be robbed by the police, 
stranger. 

[Policeman returns.] 

POLICEMAN 
So it's from bad to worse you are going, Johnny 
Burts, inducing people to gather on the footpath, 
causing obstruction and disturbing the traffic. 

BLIND MAN 
Causing obstruction? Is it losing your wits you 
are, Patseen Corey? No one passed this way for 
an hour but yourself and the stranger who was so 
kind to me. And 'tis well you know that I do be 
often reading from the big book all day long for 
no one but the dog here and myself. 

POLICEMAN 
[Looks in the ponny, takes out the coin and 
puts hack a smaller one. Then looks 
up at the sky.] 
I don't think it will rain after all, Johnny Burts. 
The wind is in a favorable direction. 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 11 

BLIND MAN 
What's that you're after doing, Patseen Corey? 

POLICEMAN 
Oh, nothing at all. I was just exchanging two 
ha'pennies for a penny. 

BLIND MAN 
That's an unholy lie you're telling, Patseen 
Corey. An unholy lie. 

POLICEMAN 
Me, wearing His Majesty's uniform, telling a lie. 
A lie, is it? 

BLIND MAN 
Lying was the only trade you ever learnt. It 
was a silver coin of the realm with the King's 
head on it that you took from the ponny. 

POLICEMAN 
That's an accusation. A silver coin indeed ! How 
do you know what it was? 

BLIND MAN 
You couldn't fool me in the sound of it. 

POLICEMAN 
You were fooled, then, and badly fooled, too. 
You'll find two ha'pennies in the ponny, your law- 
ful earnings. People haven't enough for them- 
selves these times, let alone to be giving silver 
away to a beggar. 

BLIND MAN 
Some of us would have enough if what we get 
wasn't taken from us. 

POLICEMAN 
Take heed of what you're saying, Johnny Burts, 
and don't forget that there's ten years, and maybe 
more, hanging over your head for deceiving the 
public, and you only blind in half an eye. 



12 BLIND 

BLIND MAN 
Who's the real deceiver, I'd like to know? That 
will be known on the Judgment Day when the 
rogues and vagabonds won't be able to shield 
themselves any longer. All the world knows I lost 
my eyesight the night of the big lightning and I 
on my bended knees in Killinchey Chapel praying 
for the repose of my mother's soul. 

POLICEMAN 
Little respect you have for your mother's soul, or 
your own soul either, you that left your native 
town in the Province of Munster to come here 
deceiving the guileless Protestants of the North. 

BLIND MAN 
And surely to God you don't think I'd have it on 
my conscience to be deceiving the decent Roman 
Catholics of Cork, do you? 'Twould be far fitter 
for you to give back what you stole from me 
than to stand there preaching. Put back what 
you took from the ponny, or 'twill be a bad day's 
work for you. 

POLICEMAN 

A bad day's work [Sotto voce.] This is the best 
day I've had for a month. 

BLIND MAN 
[Rising.] 
You won't think so if Johnny Burts loses his 
temper. Return what you stole from me, Patseen 
Corey. 

POLICEMAN 
Ashamed of yourself you should be, Johnny Burts, 
wronging a townsman of your own, and we that 
were next door neighbors in Featherbed Lane, 
and maybe distant relations for all we know. 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 13 

BLIND MAN 
For the last time I ask you to give me back my 
silver half-crown. 

[Blind man puts crook of his umbrella in 
policeman's Hmic] 

POLICEMAN 
Take it easy, Johnny Burts, take it easy, now. 
'Tis too lenient I've been with you lately. 

[Unhooks the umbrella.] 
What if the Head or the Sergeant were to come 
along at this moment? Sure I haven't asked you 
for the price of a drink this week past. A nice 
return I'm getting for being decent to a miserable, 
scheming, good-for-nothing, prevaricating old 
rascal who never does anything for his living. 
The Lord knows it was a queer profession you 
chose the first day. 

BLIND MAN 
'Tis wickedness and sin itself you are, Patseen 
Corey. 

POLICEMAN 

If there's another titter out of you, you'll find 
yourself pleading for mercy before the magis- 
trates. 

BLIND MAN 
[Turning away hopelessly.] 
Persecuted and held in bondage, I am. 

POLICEMAN 
Not another word now, or I'll have you put where 
you can talk till you are blue in the face, and 
where there will be no one but the rats and the 
cockroaches to listen to you. 



14 BLIND 

BLIND MAN 
[Whining.] 
Pity the blind ! Pity the blind ! Pity a poor old 
blind man! 

[Goes back to his seat, picks up the Book. 
The stranger returns and the policeman 
moves on.] 

STRANGER 

[To the Blind Man.] 
I beg your pardon, sir, would I be troubling you 
for the half-crown I gave a while since in 
mistake for a penny? I'm as poor as yourself, 
and I'd like to have it back if 'tis no inconve- 
nience. 

BLIND MAN 
A half crown! Surely you're making a mistake, 
stranger. 

STRANGER 
No, I am not, then, making any mistake at all. 
When I left the pub all I had in my possession 
was a half crown and a penny, and now I have 
only the penny. See ! 

[Holds out coin.] 

BLIND MAN 
I haven't seen the dazzling splendor of the sun or 
a gleam from the clustering stars since the Chief 
was put under the sod. But if you put the half- 
crown in the ponny it should be there, shouldn't it, 
stranger ? 

STRANGER 
[Looking in ponny.] 
I can only see two ha'pennies in it. 

BLIND MAN 
Isn't that the queer thing now ? 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 15 

STRANGER 
It is a queer thing, and a very queer thing tool 

[Looks tozvards the policeman.] 
Maybe you slipped it into your pocket unknownst 
to yourself. 

BLIND MAN 
Is it the end of the world is coming I wonder 
when the word of the blind and infirm won't be 
taken. 

STRANGER 
I want my half-crown, and I'll find it if the devil 
himself took it. 

BLIND MAN 
'Tis my belief, stranger, that you didn't know 
what you were doing when you left the pub with 
your belly full of dirty drink, and your mind 
wandering like a lost sheep on the hillside. 

STRANGER 
'Tis no wandering mind I'm possessed of at all, 
but a good sound understanding that's as clear 
as the broad daylight itself. 

BLIND MAN 
Lord preserve us from strange unreasonable peo- 
ple that does be going the roads these terrible 
times of crosses and misfortunes. 

STRANGER 
Stop this latherawning, but search your pockets 
and you'll find it. 

BLIND MAN 
I have nothing in them but holes, stranger. 

STRANGER 

Would you be having me to call the police to you ? 



16 BLIND 

BLIND MAN 
Is it making me out a thief and a robber you'd be, 
stranger? Me that used to take up the collection 
at the church doors on Sundays before the sight 
was taken from me. 

STRANGER 
Let m.yself search you then. 

BLIND MAN 
I will not. My word is all I have and that must 
be respected. 

STRANGER 
Then I'll call the constable. Come here, con- 
stable. 

POLICEMAN 
Now, what's all this altercation about? What's 
all this altercation about? 

STRANGER 
I gave this man half a crown by mistake, con- 
stable, and I want it back. 

POLICEMAN 
And would a fine granver looking young gentle- 
man like yourself be taking back anything from 
a poor, afflicted beggar of the streets even though 
the giving of it was a mistake itself? 

STRANGER 
'Twas the only bit of silver I had, and it must last 
me till I strike the town of Ennis ferry, and that 
a good sixty miles by the shortest cut. 

POLICEMAN 
Are you certain you're not making a mistake? 
Did he put anything in the ponny, Johnny? 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 17 

BLIND MAN 
Ah, sure, Constable. I haven't put a finger next 
or nigh the ponny this hour past. And whatever 
he gave me was lawfully earned. 

POLICEMAN 
[Looking in the ponny.] i 

I see nothing in it but two ha'pence. i 

STRANGER 
I don't care what's in it now. All I know is, I 
put half a crown in it, and I'm going to get it 
back. 

POLICEMAN 
Go on about your business and don't be trying to 
get money under false pretenses or I'll put you 
where you'll keep quiet. Larcency from the blind 
and infirm is a bad charge to have against any 
man, let me tell you. Be off with yourself or I'll 
lock you up. 

STRANGER 
[Buttons lower button of his coat.] 
Who's going to lock me up, I'd like to know? 

POLICEMAN 
Someone who locked up many a better man. 

STRANGER 
Search the blind man or I'll have you reported. 

POLICEMAN 
Why should I search a man I know to be as 
honest and as upright as myself? 

STRANGER 
Honest as yourself, did you say? 

POLICEMAN 
Yes, that's what I said. 

STRANGER 
Can you swear to that? 



18 BLIND 

POLICEMAN 
To be sure I can. 

STRANGER 
Then where's the half-crown? Where's my half- 
crown ? 

POLICEMAN 
Make yourself scarce or you'll be sorry. 

STRANGER 
I'll send for the Sergeant and have him searched. 

POLICEMAN 
Well, Johnny, to satisfy him, let's see what you 
have. 

BLIND MAN 
[While the policeman is searching him.] 
Oh, blight and disaster ! Blight and disaster I 
'Tis the seven curses of Egypt that have come to 
destroy me! 

POLICEMAN 
[Searches him and pulls forth a newspaper 
and a pair of spectacles.] 
This is all I can find. 

[Hands them to the stranger.] 

STRANGER 
The morning paper and a pair of spectacles but 
no sign of my half-crown. 

POLICEMAN 
I know him to have those pair of specs in his 
pocket since the last glimmer of sight left his eyes, 
and he buys the newspaper for his landlady every 
day. 

[Slapping the blind man on the back.] 
Sure, there isn't an honester man from Cape 
Clare to the Mizen Head than Johnny Burts him- 
self. 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 19 

STRANGER 
I'd like to know what has become of that half- 
crown, then. It can't be far away, I'm thinking, 
for there was no one here but yourself and myself. 

POLICEMAN 
You had better be shortening your journey and 
not be wasting people's time. 

STRANGER 
I'll go when I get the money but not before. 

POLICEMAN 
I promised to lock you up and I'm afraid I'll be 
forced to keep my word. 

[Taking out his watch and a pair of hand- 
cuffs.] 
I'll give you one minute to take to your heels. 

[Holds the watch in one hand and the hand- 
cuffs in the other.] 
Ten seconds ! twenty ! thirty ! forty ! fifty ! sixty ! 
[While he is counting the blind man makes 
his way to the policeman and catches 
him by the hand.] 

BLIND MAN 
Put those handcuffs away, Patseen, and let there 
be no crossness. The best of us make mistakes 
and the stranger is only a little quarrelsome from 
the drink that's in him. Put them away now and 
be said by me. 

POLICEMAN 
None of your old plaumause, Johnny Burts, if you 
please. I am here in the interests of law and 
order and I know my duty. 

BLIND MAN 
[Holding his hand.] 
Oh, wisha, Patseen, Patseen, won't you be said by 
me now and let there be no ructions. 



20 BLIND 

[Forces his hand to his side. The stranger 
rushes over, grips the policeman by the 
other hand and pinions him behind his 
back.] 

STRANGER 
Well, Patseen Corey, what do you think of the 
weather now? The wind is changed and we may 
be having a supeen of rain after all. 

POLICEMAN 
Glory be to the Lord, what's this? What's the 
meaning of this? 

STRANGER 
Don't distress yourself. You'll know in time 
enough when the marked half-crown is found. 
Robbing from the blind and infirm is a mighty 
bad charge to have against any man, Patseen 
Corey, much less an officer of the law. 

POLICEMAN 
Who in heaven's name are you? 

STRANGER 
I'm a special detective from Dublin looking for 
the bla'guard who broke into the Town Hall, and 
as I was informed that the police m these parts 
were neither useful nor ornamental I've been 
keeping them under observation. 

POLICEMAN 
The saints protect us! What's to becomie of me? 

STRANGER 
I'll take the you the shortest cut to the barracks. 

POLICEMAN 
The barracks? 

STRANGER 
Where else? 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 21 

POLICEMAN 

Holy murder and bloody wars, what am I to do 
at all? You wouldn't have the heart to clap me 
in prison surely, and I with a wife, four children 
and another one coming? 

STRANGER 
The less disturbance the better. I'll take you 
across the fields where only the crows will see 
you. 

POLICEMAN 
Look here, sir. I have fifty pounds that I'm 
bringing to the bank for herself, and I'll give it 
all to you if you will only set me free. 

STRANGER 

Are you aware that this is bribery? 

POLICEMAN 

But think of herself and the children? Five 
helpless people depending on me for their living. 
All I ask is a little mercy for their sake. No 
one will be the wiser and you will be the richer 
by fifty pounds. 

STRANGER 
Little mercy you have showed to the poor, harm- 
less creature at the corner there whom you must 
have robbed more than once, I'm thinking. 

BLIND MAN 
That's the gospel truth, stranger. The gospel 
truth. 

POLICEMAN 
Open the handcuffs, and the money is yours. 

STRANGER 
Before accepting the offer, which I am doing un- 
willingly, remember, I wish it to be understood 
that when the money is paid and you are set free 



22 BLIND 

you will forget all about the marauder who's still 
at large. 

[Pointing to the proclamation.] 
That fifty pounds must go to me, too. 

POLICEMAN 
I'll promise never to arrest another living soul in 
the world if you only take off the handcuffs 
before anyone comes along. 

I 
STRANGER 
Where do you keep the money ? 

POLICEMAN 
In my inside pocket. 

STRANGER 
His inside pocket. 

[Opens his tunic and takes out the money.] 
Ah, here it is. Four tens and two fives. That's 
fifty, sure enough. 

POLICEMAN 
Open the handcuffs, if you please. 

[The stranger's back is turned, the police- 
man walks up to him and nudges him 
with his shoulder. The stranger turns 
around, sees the watch in his hand, 
takes it, examines it and puts it into his 
own pocket. Then he opens the hand- 
cuffs.] 

STRANGER 
[Giving him a push.] 
Be off with yourself now, you big, clumsy cam- 
bogue and take my advice and don't be seen hang- 
ing around here again until I find the man I'm 
looking for. 



SEUMAS O'BRIEN 23 

POLICEMAN 

Ten thousand blessings on you, sir. I don't know 
how to thank you, indeed I don't, for your great 
kindness and act of charity. Won't I be allowed 
to shake hands with my friend and benefactor? 

STRANGER 
Shake the hands of a thief and a robber, is it? 
Oh, no ! 

POLICEMAN 

[Exit Stranger.] 
Good-bye and God bless you, sir. 

BLIND MAN 

Patseen 1 

POLICEMAN 

[Turning back.] 
What is it, Johnny? 

BLIND MAN 
It was well you were a married man and burdened 
with a wife and family. 

POLICEMAN 

Yes, Johnny, yes. 

[As he goes out, Stranger re-enters.] 

STRANGER 

[To the blind man.] 
Well, Uncle Johnny, that was a wonderful scheme 
of yours entirely. A fox is only a fool to you. 
We got the fifty pounds, though I thought we 
wouldn't, and Patseen Corey will never guess now 
that 'twas yourself broke into the Town Hall. 

[Handing notes.] 
Here's your share. Uncle Johnny, two tens and 
one five. 



24 BLIND 

BLIND MAN 
[Lifts the badge off his eye, and looks at 
the notes.] 
Ha! ha! ha! 'Tis a long lane that has no turn- 
ing. 

[Patting Stranger on the shoulder.] 
God bless you, Shaun. 'Tis your father's skin 
you have on you surely, and no one can say that 
you're not a credit to the family. 

STRANGER 

[Handing back his glasses.] 
You'll see better with these peepers, Uncle Johnny. 

BLIND MAN 

[Puts on the glasses and examines the 
notes.] 
Two tens and a five. A good day's work, Shaun, 
a good day's work! Whist, whist. Someone's 
coming. 'Tis his Reverence. I know his step. 

[Hides the notes in his stocking and reads.] 
"They grope in the dark without light and He 
maketh them to stagger like a drunken man." 
Pity the blind! Pity the blind! Pity a poor old 
blind man. 



Curtain 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

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